TESCO CUSTOMER CAFE

Welcome to the Tesco Customer Cafe, where your meal and a side of existential dread await. It's like sitting in a waiting room for your life decisions to catch up with you, but hey, at least it’s clean. The staff seem friendly, especially Stella, but you might need to channel some patience if you're in a hurry. I mean, 23 minutes for service when the place is quiet? That’s an Olympic-level wait.

The breakfast options might make you consider a second coffee while you ponder why a plate of cold eggs Benedict was microwaved. But don’t worry, if you’re feeling brave enough to fork out for a panini, just know that some lucky customer might have already claimed a piece of your meal with a hidden plastic surprise. If you want a decent meal without the drama, maybe just stick to shopping and skip the cafe.